What's Mine Is Mine and You Can't Have It (Right?)

          I've said it a hundred times before, and I'll say it a thousand more: I write about things I go through to try to make sense of them. God and I communicate in so many different ways, music being the biggest and writing being a close second. So when I find myself saying out loud, "God, I'm struggling with this jealousy, and I need you to make it go away," I can so very clearly hear God say, "Write about it. Write it all down, so you don't forget how you're feeling and how to fix it." 
          So why am I feeling jealous? Because in my closed-minded, selfish world, I am the only one in my circle of friends who is allowed to have a blog dedicated to the wonderful things that Jesus Christ is doing in my life. So when one of my beautiful, talented, and God-fearing friends started a blog of her own, my jealousy flared up to a degree that disgusts me. How can I be jealous of her for doing what I'm doing? It's not me who runs this blog. It's Jesus Christ in me. It's Jesus Christ through my dear friend who runs her blog. She will touch lives that I will never reach. I will touch lives that she will never reach. There is no competition when it comes to the will of God. 

Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North

          A few weeks ago, I heard a podcast featuring the lead singer of the band Tenth Avenue North, Mike Donehey, speaking about how his prayer changed from Lord use me to Lord let me see You move. Let me explain: Mike talked about how every time their band would get ready to perform, they would pray and ask God to bless their set and to bring people to Him through them. It seems fine, right? He wanted to do the work of God and bring people to Jesus through his music. Then he realized how selfish he was being. What if God wanted to use the other bands at the concert? Were they allowed to bring people to Christ too? So Mike Donehey changed his prayer from God use me to Lord let me see You move. 
          Now I understand why I stumbled upon that podcast so many days ago. Because God knew the selfishness in my heart, and knew that I would need to remember those words. I want to see the work of the Lord done. I don't want to be the only one leading people to Christ. Those desires are sinful, and they are evil, and they distract me from the real purpose of this whole thing. Guys, I don't want you to remember my name. I want you to remember my words, because I am speaking truth about the only true living God. That's the point of all of this. That is the point of my life. The purpose of my life is to love God and to love all of you so that you can find the source of true love. God is crying out, through my words, through the words of THOUSANDS of others like me. He is desperately trying to get your attention to just tell you that He loves you. That he made you, and that he wants your heart. The God of the entire universe wants your heart. 
          So this one goes out to all of my friends who want to do the will of the Lord. It's not about you. It's not about me. It's not about leaving your mark on the world. It's about leading this broken and hurting world to a perfect and loving Savior. So if you find yourself in a situation like that, remember who sent you to send your message.
          Oh! And check out her blog! She's got a beautiful story to tell, and I wouldn't want you to miss it for the world.